This is a topic I hear teachers ask about frequently and it hits some familiar heart strings.
I was single when I decided to go beyond my classroom but while I was trying to figure out what to do with my future I was dating someone and he was incredibly confused about why I would even consider a career change. Both of my parents were teachers as well as my brother-in-law, and while they could see that I wasn’t my “happy self” any more while feeling stagnant at work, some of them also didn’t understand what I was needing and what I was seeking.
Needing to “explain yourself” can be emotionally tiring, especially if you’re personally still grappling to understand what you’re feeling and why. It can then start to feel like you have multiple battles to win:
1- Figuring out want to do next and how to land that opportunity
2- “Convincing” the person who “should” be your closest ally why this is actually incredibly important
In this post we’ll discuss 3 strategies to help you help you in this circumstance.
2 Basic Truths:
Let’s start with 2 basic truths: 1- As a couple you have basic needs to met: food, shelter, clothing, etc. Some people also list benefits as a need. 2- If you are with someone who loves you, they will want you to be happy.
Know Your Needs
When a spouse or significant other hears that you are considering a career change, they may have concerns about the basic needs associated with #1 being met. While that is understandable, the best way to work toward calming that concern is to work toward landing a job opportunity doing something else that will successfully meet those needs.
Start by knowing clearly what your financial and life needs. Then ensure you are working toward work opportunities that will meet those needs. Keep in mind that some fields that may start at lower paying amounts may promote you faster and then exceed your teaching salary quickly.
Help Them See it's Much More than Being "Unhappy with Work"
Basic truth #2 was that if someone loves you they will want you to be happy. Being happy of course includes #1 having your needs met and #2 enjoying what you do with the majority of your day, or in other words what you do for work.
It can be easy for teacher to simply want your significant other to understand how unhappy you are in your current job and how badly you need a change. You’ve got to understand though, that it can be hard for them to understand that you’re not just “dissatisfied with your job.” It’s much, much deeper than that.
They need you to help them see that it’s not about work, it’s about your well-being and here is a research-based tool to help you with that.
Well-being Finder
Research clearly shows that if you are dissatisfied at work, you are twice as likely to be depressed. If your husband, wife, or significant other is concerned that you are “just not going to be happy in any job you have” help them see that there are specific needs that are not being met as a teacher and that those needs can and would be met in a different role or job.
If you’re having a hard time identifying what it is about teaching that isn’t meeting your needs, I strongly recommend the research-based book Well-Being Finder, and specifically the chapter on “Career Well-being.” The book also comes with an access code for an online assessment you cant take to help pin-point the areas where you are needing a change and it offers research-based recommendations on how to bring about those improvements.
Create the Future Each of You Want
By having a clear view of #1 what your actual financial needs are and #2 how your job is influencing your well-being, you are then well-equipped to counsel together about what your hopes and goals are as a couple in looking together toward your future. You can seek out the job opportunities that will meet both your financial needs as well as your well-being needs.
Need help figuring out what to do next? Or do you know what you want to do but you need help finding actual opportunities to do that? Enroll in our upcoming course Find Your Next Dream Job – For Teachers and I’ll walk you through the same process I personally went through when I went from my classroom to my next dream job.. (Note, this course is currently in pre-enrollment and has not opened yet, but by signing up now, you’ll get the lowest price ever before it starts!)
